Friday, February 6, 2009

Cold is a relative thing

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
people in Ohio plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Ohio sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Ohio drive with the windows down..

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Ohio throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Ohio have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Ohioans close the windows.

Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Ohio get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Ohio are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Ohio let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Ohioans get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.

40 below zero :
ALL atomic motion stops .
People in Ohio start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Ohio public schools will open 2 hours late

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